The importance of resilience
Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don't go as we had planned them.
Life is full of ups and downs and there will be times we all experience which are difficult. Resilient people don't wallow in any failures; they acknowledge that they have experienced a failure, they learn from the situation and their mistakes and then they move forward.
There are three main elements that are essential to resilience:
Challenge - Resilient people view a difficult situation as a challenge, not something that will defeat them. Things may be hard but you won't be defeated by them. Resilient people look at when things haven't gone to plan as lessons where we can learn something and as an opportunity for them to grow as a person. A challenge or setback is not viewed as a reflection of who they are as a person.
Commitment - Resilient people are committed to their lives and the goals they have. They show commitment across lots of different areas of their lives - work, relationships, friendships and things that they care about.
Personal Control - Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they can control. As they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident in what they do. People who spend their time worrying about things that they cannot control are often much more anxious and feel like they are powerless to take action.
The way in which we explain setbacks to ourselves is also important in developing resilience:
Permanence - People who have a lot of resilience tend to be more optimistic. Optimistic people see the effects of bad events or situations as temporary rather than permanent.
Pervasiveness - Resilient people don't let setbacks or bad situations affect other unrelated areas of their lives. For example, someone with a high level of resilience might say "I'm rubbish at this task" rather than saying "I'm rubbish at everything". Resilient people can acknowledge their failings in certain areas of their lives without it becoming their whole life.
Personalisation - People who have resilience don't blame themselves for bad situations. Resilient people are able to see others and situations outside of themselves as being a potential cause. For example, instead of saying "I messed up that task because I can't do my job", resilient people might say "I didn't get the support I need to finish this task".
How can I start to become more resilient?
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